(Spoken) Y'know what, got chutzpah to say, oy!
Rabbi Small, seven days, check it out, oy!
On his way to synagogue
That was a couple blocks away from home (oy!)
As he walked through the neighborhood,
It must have been a quarter past six.
In front of him lay an expired lady
With a burning body (body).
He called the police chief
And then the fire department.
An investigation showed murder and anti-Semitic arson.
Is this suspense? Oy!
Makes you so tense! Oy!
Rabbi David Small lives dangerously;
A rabbi from Massachusetts
Created by a Jewish guy-
Harry Kemelman.
What was his aim;
Creating a rabbi and sleuth?
Combing law and crime
With the Talmudic truth.

CHORUS:
Took off Monday,
He saw red on Tuesday,
He got wet on Wednesday,
And walked out Thursday,
Slept late Friday,
Went hungry Saturday,
Stayed home Sunday.
The rabbi took off Monday,
He saw red on Tuesday,
He got wet on Wednesday,
And walked out Thursday,
Slept late Friday,
Went hungry Saturday,
Stayed home Sunday.

Barnard's Crossing,
That's where the Rabbi preached.
He was knowledgeable;
A smooth talker, while he reached
Out to his congregation and town.
Ooh, I love the way he kicks it!
And when trouble occurs, he'll fix it!
He'll fix it ooh, and how he kicks it!
And I, oh-oh, yeah,
Know that the crime
Will be solved well 'cause he's always there.
Ooh, yeah!
He's not a man to play around, baby!
Ooh, yeah!
'Cause being second best isn't really fair.
From the first impression says,
"Hmmm, it doesn't seem to be like that.
Come on, let's have a chat."
With the police chief, the rabbi sat
Over a cup of hot tea.
They discuss the mystery
And then discuss liturgy
Then he combines the two for problem solving.

CHORUS:

Sheked b'vah ka shah ("Be quiet please" in Hebrew).
Since reading about this rabbi, ooh, yeah,
I can't help but keep in mind
He's one of a kind,
And I wish my temple could hire him.
It's a shame he's only fictional, oh!

CHORUS: