Standing at the oven
She tried to cook it last
One turkey in the oven
A dish that looked like glass
She said “this bird may take a while
put it on the center rack”
and she placed it

She added the stuffing
Then she turned it on
And then she started making biscuits
Knew they’d soon be gone
So she made another batch and said
“I’ll need to make more, so I'm gonna' make em’

I don't wanna' sit here like Starvin’…Marvin
So make up the food and fast
But the turkey must not be dry
Baste it

Another glass of kool-aid doesn’t kill those hunger pains
So they rummage through the fridge and try to snack again
She says “Ain’t time for eatin’ yet, so stop sneaking that food away!
Keep on waitin’!”

Oh, but I don't wanna' sit here like Starvin’…Marvin
So make up the food and fast
But the turkey must not be dry
Baste it

Oh I don't wanna' keep on grumblin’, mumblin’
My stomach is rumblin’, I a-bout to cry
But the turkey can not be dry
Baste it

She kept cookin’ along
Till the food was all done, and sitting side by side
He looked at the table and at last he was able
To eat that good food with a smile

Gravy…
Oh, and now they both have finished their eatin’, meat n’
Potatoes are now all gone
But the turkey was not cooked wrong
Basted

Oh now they change to happy from weepy, sleepy
There’s fartin’ and burpin’, the pants are undone,
Said “that turkey was number one”
Basted

“Oh, but I don't wanna' wash all these dishes
Wishin’ you’d get off your asses and help
You should clean up this mess yourselves!
Take it!

Yeah, yeah

No, but you don’t want to do the dish washin’, CAUTION
The taste of that turkey’s the LAST that you get!
I ain't spending no more time
Bastin’!”