"What I Go To School For"
“That’s what I speak Hindu for”
oh yeah
her face was furry and grotesque
she smiles and dribbled down her chest
in Bognor regis we first met
she was attracted to my sweat
he used to be in Dr who
now she gives rides at London zoo
I used to love her once I know
now she’s a possessive psycho

she’s what I go to school for
I maybe 47
but my girlfriends ugly
and damn it does she bug me
that’s what I go to school for
she thinks that im a teacher
I think that she’s a fat git and I fancy her mat Sanjit
that’s what I speak Hindu for
that’s what I speak Hindu for

I watch her in her fathers store
stacking the dog food by the door
when she bent down I tried my best
not to get lost between her breasts
she throws a smile and says to me
my family’s out I have the key
I hang the closed sign on the door
our clothes all over the shop floor

that’s what im standing nude for
she wants me on the sofa
she says that I can grope her
if I buy a beef SamoSA
that’s what im standing nude for
she wants the karma sutra
in her mini cooper
ill end up needing bupa
thats what im standing nude for

what about the girl from Bognor

ill take fatty for a take-away
not too dear cos its me who’ll pay
revenge that’s why
hot curry’s they make her cry
sit and watch her smile corrode
toxic fumes while her butt explodes
I bet her stomach aches
ill tell you mate
I hope she shuts the loo door
who knows how long shell pooh for

and last I am s happy chap
then Sanjit said busted was crap
she said that she preferred mcfly
that’s when I knew Sanjit must die

that’s what I got ten years for
my reflexes took over
who’d guess id have it in me
im just like west and hinley

that’s what im on the news for
and gashirs won his court case
im not sure how this happened
my cell mates Michael Jackson
his nose was on the loo floor
that’s what I need some glue for