(Yeah,
Mario,
I know where you live,
I've loved everything you've done,
I've really gone all out before,
Why do you do this to me now?
Why, Mario?
What's this?),

Baby, why'd you do this to me?
I bought your GameCube,
The Revolution,
So long I've sought it,
But now I'm afraid of E3,
What else will they do?
All over the news,
People have fought it,

Baby, it is now called a Wii,
Yes, that much is true,
You know what we want,
Still people bought it,
Baby, you compete with Sony,
And Microsoft, too,
You're the eastern front,
Oh, have you lost it?

I've been a gamer for a few years,
With a few peers,
I remember late nights playing Castlevania II here,
I'm always at control, and it flows just like a poem,
Been collecting this, collecting that, always in my room at home,
My body was negated; this pizza got me constipated,
But, I wouldn't stop, I loved the games, not "till my scores are chrome plated,
But, tell me, are you inebriated?
I watched the Revolution as you tried to delegate it,

I know you always want to be the ones to use new, insane ideas,
But the nunchakus controller is Wavebird's evil half brother,
I can see how it may be fun to shoot on screen,
But the entire system can't be like a Duck Hunt game,
You're promoting it with titles like Painting With Bob Ross,
And the shooter Red Steel, like Perfect Dark Zero without the gloss,
A motion sensor controls the games that we play,
I couldn't see myself liking that for more than a day,
It's the end, now,

Baby, when I look at the Wii,
I'm cold through and through,
Now that you've lost Rare,
No one's excited,
If they brought back R.O.B.,
Made a new Clu Clu,
It came with a dog,
Still couldn't sell it,

No more games from the third party,
It's limited to,
Those who can produce,
For motion sensors,
They're hoping for Final Fantasy,
A Smash Bros. game, too,
But how will it work?

(Shh),
"Tendo, listen,
We've discussed how much it sucks to have to move just to,
Control the game, not the same, but there's another bust, too,
Listen, Revolution was a great name, but why choose the Wii?
I don't think of community, it makes me think of pee,
It's like a dirty joke, hopefully the punch line comes soon,
Because I swear, I want to injure the responsible goon,
Baby, we've been proudly saving Zelda for years, glory,
Who's going to ask their friends if they want to play with their Wii?

I'm tired of the gimmicks, Nintendo's on a roll,
Of stupid ideas, DS's already getting old,
From Luigi's Mansion to Mario's DDR,
You've whored out the series like Disney killed Pixar,
Every gimmick has produced more hate,
But nothing's been worse up to this date,
Than a console that you're calling the Wii,
Is that name worse than most punk bands', or is it just me?

Baby, when you show at E3,
Bet the other two,
Will show off their stunts,
You'll look retarded,
Baby, when you show off your Wii,
Apart from your crew,
All laugh at the name,
Are you even trying?

Baby, not even Animal Crossing,
Can rescue this tool,
Frankly, I will be blunt,
We think you've lost it,
Just the thought of steering Yoshi,
Or racing Pico,
With a remote control,
Want to forget it,

I thought all troubles I had seen,
When you put out your touch screen,
But news came much more sickening,
Oh, I die when you show off the Wii,

I will climb to Mt. Fuji,
And find your Nintendo factory,
Save the world a tragedy,
And destroy every single Nintendo Wii,

It's given many colors and it's really rather teeny,
But the technical specs inside really do not please me,
Less powerful than a current gen Xbox on the TV,
Ladies and Gentlemen, the 200 dollar weenie,
The CPU and GPU are the laughing stock of E3,
And cross-platform port games will not come easy,
I appreciate that you're trying, somewhat, to appease me,
But, man, your target audience is back in 2003, Wii,

Baby, Revolution sounds sweet,
What happened, you fools?
Don't know "bout Japan,
But I can say that,
Baby, in the land of the free,
We don't think Wii's cool,
We enjoyed Duck Hunt,
But not for 200 dollars,

Save me the all the headaches and please,
Just say it's not true,
We'll let you off soft,
Just don't release it,
Backwards compatibility,
"Least that much is true,
On behalf of the world,
We're disappointed.

(Nintendo's fanboys,
Microsoft's fanboys,
Sony's fanboys,
All agree,
You're fired,
It's over,
We'll see you at E3).