I love makin' staged drama
Wowin' people who live for all this drama
Only takes some misdirection for this llama
Suddenly found to be wearin' the same pyjamas
I was in, yeah, can you see the mechanisms?
Hope you're not that pessimist there bitchin'
'Bout how magic's lame even though you came
Big bucks for a ticket, not sane, sane, sane
Because there are magic buffs who have big brains
Who have love for this trade, they anticipate
Each show, will germinate a whole new debate, mate
"Which part was fake? Can't work out, I'm still amazed, yeah"
Clam up now while I demonstrate
A little classic now, watch my top hat propagate
A Columbidae dove, this'll be so great
Always blows any mind, I'll detonate
Metaphor blast your - wait, there's no dove, y'all (y'all)

Mood you're killin' with no flyin'
This should work, swear I'm not lyin'
Each rehearsal over weeks
Lacked any giant hitch, you see
Bugger, bugger, bugger, this sucks
Now the cynics will not budge
The patient crowd is, crowd is questionin'
Where is the dove (dove)?
Where is the dove (the dove)?
Where is the dove (the dove)?
Where is the dove, the dove, the dove?

No sense made, afraid bad luck's to blame
Shocked face is framed by your phones, I'm crazed
I should've said turn those off
Mostly pissed at this dove that's somehow lost
Where the hell's it gone?
Hard not to panic when you botched the final one
I guess it's still show-stoppin', just not how I want
I've asked for help, my assistants came back on
Raised pay as thanks for help, they're much better at improv
An excuse, they're bullshittin' it, will the crowd believe in it?
Too mad at this pigeon that I'm missin' what their feelin' is
Hopin' we can recover from this huge blunder
Can't just wave it off now my face is red in colour
I feel like an eejit, complete and utter dunce
Whole performance is screwed cause of one escaped dove
Where's the dove, y'all? C'mon, I don't know
Where's the bird, y'all? C'mon, I don't know
Man, where's the dove, y'all?

Mood you're killin' with your hidin'
Stupid bird, I'll see you fryin'
We've been practicin' for weeks
Took so much bullshit from your beak
Bugger, bugger, bugger, this sucks
A disgrace to my white gloves
Cause the whole crowd is, crowd is questionin'
Where is the dove (dove)?
Where is the dove (the dove)?
Where is the dove (the dove)?
Where is the dove (the dove)?
Where is the dove (dove)?
Where is the dove (the dove)?
Where is the dove (the dove)?
Where is the dove, the dove, the dove?

As the dove trail gets more distant and colder
The taps on my shoulder get faster and bolder
I bet my assistants think we should be makin'
All the tracks so the audience won't start their ditchin'
Of old tomatoes like you see in the media
But I'm not givin' in to all that hysteria
Promised them they'd see fly, in a way mysterious
Dove out my hat, they'll get that, I'm not delirious (no)
Yes, I'm aware this ain't that much of a calamity, yeah
I'm not destroyin' anybody's weird theology, yeah
But this is still a breach of my own brand of quality, yeah
Any screwed-up magic risks destruction of credulity
That's the reason why this time I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why this time I'm feelin' down
It's no wonder why this time I'm feelin' under
Sorry if I swear and cry - the dove's been found?
Where in the hell?

Where was the dove?
Where was the dove?
Where was the dove?
Where was the dove?
Hold up, hold up, hold up, let's just
Feign intention for this futz
Post-curtain, I'll be, I'll be questionin'
Where was the dove?

Hold the answers off (lost bird, lost bird)
Where was it stuffed (lost bird, lost bird)?
Who was the putz (lost bird, lost bird)
Who holds the fault with 'im (yeah-eah)?
All the fault with 'im (yeah-eah)
Lay the fault on which j-j-jerk? Yeah
Later, let's just (lost bird, lost bird)
Take bows and stuff (lost bird, lost bird)