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Song Parodies -> "Body Hair"
Original Song Title:
"Naughty Girl"
Original Performer:
Beyonce
Parody Song Title:
"Body Hair"
Parody Written by:
EmiLoca
The Lyrics
All you females in da 'ouse: Anyone ELSE start sprouting ten hours after you've shaved? I think I should join the circus. Anyway, I was the inspiration for this parody. Take a peek.
Please say "Wax me!"
You're putting wookies all to shame, Oy!
Just tell them, "Bleach me!"
(Though I think it'd look the same)
(You're lookin' kinda h-a-i-r-y;
Your ankle's picking up debris)
Maybe a facial buffer or thinner? Gee!
Your thighs could sweep a runway clean!
Start peeling that hot wax, babe
Just take a razor and shaving cream
You'll know why it's so important, see?
There's no need to conceal it; just shave it, babe
Tonight, I saw your body hair
It gave me quite a scare!
With all the stubble sticking out
You shouldn't flaunt your body
Tonight, please wax your body hair
That is my only prayer
Before you wear that strapless gown
To the dinner party
Oh, you vex me!
It's thicker than before, Oy!
Please disembody
the hair - it's not a chore!
(This "Makeover" might be a bit "Extreme"
Watch it tonight on ABC!)
Lazy! I'll even give you a wax for free
It's just, your hair keeps tripping me
The length of it does amaze me, babe
It's nappy, thick to the worst degree
I'm heating wax in the micro-weeve
I'm hoping this won't take sev'ral days, eek! Babe...
Tonight I'll wax your body hair
It's all for free, I swear
And when you turn in pain and shout
I'll smile - "Your legs are hot, yes?"
Incite a loss of body hair
(Yikes, I won't wax you there...)
Yanking the strips, I'll rip them down
Now you're hair-free, spotless!
Now you're without the hair; free!
Now you're without the hair; free!
Now you're without the hair; free!
In spite of all my efforts, girl
Looks like your hair unfurled
That's it - I give up - just get out!
No longer want your body
You must've set a record, girl
Longest hair in the world
You're on display - a sideshow clown
You're a work of art! Whee!
You're putting wookies all to shame, Oy!
Just tell them, "Bleach me!"
(Though I think it'd look the same)
(You're lookin' kinda h-a-i-r-y;
Your ankle's picking up debris)
Maybe a facial buffer or thinner? Gee!
Your thighs could sweep a runway clean!
Start peeling that hot wax, babe
Just take a razor and shaving cream
You'll know why it's so important, see?
There's no need to conceal it; just shave it, babe
Tonight, I saw your body hair
It gave me quite a scare!
With all the stubble sticking out
You shouldn't flaunt your body
Tonight, please wax your body hair
That is my only prayer
Before you wear that strapless gown
To the dinner party
Oh, you vex me!
It's thicker than before, Oy!
Please disembody
the hair - it's not a chore!
(This "Makeover" might be a bit "Extreme"
Watch it tonight on ABC!)
Lazy! I'll even give you a wax for free
It's just, your hair keeps tripping me
The length of it does amaze me, babe
It's nappy, thick to the worst degree
I'm heating wax in the micro-weeve
I'm hoping this won't take sev'ral days, eek! Babe...
Tonight I'll wax your body hair
It's all for free, I swear
And when you turn in pain and shout
I'll smile - "Your legs are hot, yes?"
Incite a loss of body hair
(Yikes, I won't wax you there...)
Yanking the strips, I'll rip them down
Now you're hair-free, spotless!
Now you're without the hair; free!
Now you're without the hair; free!
Now you're without the hair; free!
In spite of all my efforts, girl
Looks like your hair unfurled
That's it - I give up - just get out!
No longer want your body
You must've set a record, girl
Longest hair in the world
You're on display - a sideshow clown
You're a work of art! Whee!
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 1 | 1 | 1 |
User Comments
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This reminds me of my last girlfriend...she had lovely long hair...none on her head, mind you, but lovely long hair....well done 555
I loved it! 5-4-5!
Thanks to the both of you!
Body hair leads me to think of Captain Jack Sparrow which makes me think about Orlando Bloom.....*sigh*. Another grand ol' parody, can't wait til the next one........Orlando Bloom.....ahh.....
Your brother voted 1's on this, didn't he? But who was the other person? *shakes fist* Stupid kids!
Where's the picture?
Too many excellent lines to quote! Good job!
Be glad you're not a hobbit - we have to wax the tops of our feet - ouch! ;-)
Be glad you're not a hobbit - we have to wax the tops of our feet - ouch! ;-)
Thanks Meriadoc! And...I'm not sure whether or not to thank Harry. Oh heck, thanks Harry, and I'll email you the picture.
LOL!
CURSE YOU, CHRIS BELL!!! Don't think you're safe from my wrath, because I know where you live. You're the house with the freaking forest in front. Yeah. Be afraid. Run while you still have feet.
Don't worry, Emi, I'll take care of it. *walks into Chris's room, where he is silently sleeping* Yeah, this will show him.....*picks him up, takes him to Luke's house and throws him in the Iron Maiden* There Luke. Do what you want with him.
No! Give him to... ME!
OK Apricto, *strain* I'll give you Chris, *pull* once I'm able to open this *exertion* bloody Iorn Maiden. *gives up* Gee, it seems to be crammed full of donuts, bags of dead bodies, mountain dew and scot- err... cheese. Try rigging up some sort of pulley system with EmiLoca's ankle hairs.
*frozen in horror* Where...*gasp*...are...*gasp*...the...*gasp*...rings?
(Aww, I really want to joke that they're stuck in your throat, but I'll play along, gasp girl) Apricot! Get that pulley system up quicksmart! Tibbygirl, GREASE ME UP, WOMAN!
All right, just for that, anything male and breathing that happens to stumble across this string of comments has my permission to "GREASE ME UP", too. OUCH!!! *leftover ankle hairs are ripped off*
Sorry about that. I forgot I don't breathe.
*wails* Those rings were expensive! Do you know how long I had to hassle the Chinese street merchant for those??? And now you stuff them in a rusted doughnut storage device...I'm appalled.
There is only one option: we must forge the rings out of the most evil matter in the world. This happens to be a convenient combination of Mountain Dew, scotch, deceased people in garbage bags and eye of Tibbygirl. To Mount Doom!!!
And cheese! Don't forget cheese. In addition, can we make a few stops along the way? I hear Mount Doom is in the general vincinity of Mirkwood. Give or take a few hundred miles.
Ooo! We can take my fishing boat! It's a pirate ship!
Yes, and we'll row across the mountains. *raises eyebrow at Apricot*
To Apricot's logic! *raises eyebrow and clinks it with EmiLoca's*
It's a MAGICAL boat. It can FLY, and BURROW and there's a really comfy chair on it.
Okay then, but I get the chair. And the comfy.
*emerges with a large can of grease, and talks in a plumber voice* Alrighty than, folkses, I'll justa go overr her, and y'all will justa hafta cum ova here to get yur greasin'.*switches to normal voice* A trip? That's sounds positively delightful!!! May I come, too????
I think your questionable spelling of "come" reveales the suggestive nature of the phrase "Grease me up". You may COME.
I just got a mental image of the surname 'Cummingham'. *oink*
And I'll take the obvious one - e. e. cummings (wonder what the e. e. stands for...I'll leave that one out in the open).
Well, I'll bring it back inside. "Enjoying EmiLoca's..."
Alright. Now the ship is magical, so it can fly! Everyone, buckle up! *hands everyone a strip of tape and a cushion, obviously ripped from a car* TAKE OFF! *ship begins flying. Flys well for a while, then slowly starts to sink into....* OH NO! We appear to have veered off course and run out of gas, and we're fast sinking into a forest filled with hippies! NOOOOOOO!
RUN 'EM OVER! RUN 'EM ALL OVER!!!!!
Those aren't hippies! Those are tree-hugging elves! *See "Emi's Theory of Political Incorrectness in The Lord of the Rings"*
Well then, they are 'reality-challenged creatures embracing overly-statured vegetation'.
You know what, let's not have this exchange of images right now.
This reminds me of an ad for a movie. I think it was for 'Without A Paddle'. Anyway, this girl was talking to one of the lead guys and said something like '100% body hair' and shows her legs. Needless to say, the guy wasn't impressed. Good work, EmiLoca.
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