Customer: This is a parrot
It is now dead
Can I make it any more obvious?
It was once alive,
Now it's passed away
What more can I say?
Owner: That parrot's not dead
'E's just asleep
'E's tired after a prolonged cheep.
C: Don't give me that, mate,
This parrot's snuffed it
I know a dead bird when I see it

C: This is a dead parrot, mate
O: 'E's just asleep, mate
Look at that magnificent plumage!
C: This parrot was once alive
But since then, it's up and died
Won't make a difference moving the cage

C: Half an hour ago
You sold me this bird
Said its lack of life was quite absurd
I got it home
Fed it cuttlefish bone
But that parrot refused to roam
O: 'E's probably pinin' for the fjords
'E's a Norwegian Blue
And that's just part of what they do
C: Pining for the fjords?
What talk is that?
When I got him home, he was flat on his back!

C: This is a dead parrot, mate
O: 'E's just asleep, mate
Look at that magnificent plumage!
C: That parrot rests in peace,
His metabolism has ceased
He wouldn't go if you electrified him!

C: This is a dead parrot, mate
O: 'E's just asleep, mate
Look at that magnificent plumage!
C: That parrot rests in peace,
His metabolism has ceased
He wouldn't go if you electrified him!

C: Look, mate, this parrot is dead
I'll prove it by smacking its head
This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
I must say, I am quite appalled
He's kicked the bucket, he's snuffed it
He's passed on, he's off the twig
This parrot has ceased to be
He should be pushing up the daisies

C: This is a parrot
It is now dead
Can I make it any more obvious?
O: I'll 'ave a look back
I'll 'ave a quick burl
Sorry, mate, we're out of birds

C: This is a dead parrot, mate
Don't tell me he's asleep, mate
There's just no movement in his eyes!
O: I got a slug out back
C: Pray tell, does he talk back?
It's hardly a replacement otherwise.

C: This is a dead parrot, mate
Don't tell me he's asleep, mate
There's just no movement in his eyes!
O: I got a slug out back
C: Pray tell, does he talk back?
It's hardly a replacement otherwise.