KATE: Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself! And I'm going to teach something relevant! Something modern! Fanfiction! (Song starts) Fanfiction is really really great
TREKKIE MONSTER: For slash
KATE: On AO3 I never have long to wait
TREKKIE: For slash
KATE: What? There's all my favourite sites
TREKKIE: For slash
KATE: On which I'll read and write
TREKKIE: Good slash
KATE: It's like I'm typing at the speed of light!
TREKKIE: More slash!
KATE: Trekkie!

TREKKIE: Fanfiction is for slash
KATE: Trekkie!
TREKKIE: Fanfiction is for slash
KATE: What are you doing?
TREKKIE: All great authors make a splash by writing slash
KATE: Trekkie...

TREKKIE: Oh! Hello, Kate Monster!
KATE: You are ruining my song!
TREKKIE: Oh, me sorry. Me no mean to
KATE: Well, if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?
TREKKIE: Okey dokey
KATE: Good

KATE: I'm glad we have this opportunity
TREKKIE: For slash... oops!
KATE: To upload fanfics to the web for free
TREKKIE: And slash... oops, sorry!
KATE: With my Android smartphone
TREKKIE: For...
KATE: I can write plots all my own
TREKKIE: ...
KATE: Though other authors are better known
TREKKIE: FOR SLASH!!
KATE: Trekkie!

TREKKIE: Fanfiction is for slash!
KATE: No!
TREKKIE: Fanfiction is for slash!
KATE: Trekkie!!
TREKKIE: Me up all night getting a rash through reading slash!

KATE: That's gross! You're a pervert!
TREKKIE: Ah, sticks and stones, Kate Monster
KATE: No really, you're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home to read and write slash fiction
TREKKIE: Ohhhh?
KATE: What?
TREKKIE: You have no idea! Ready, normal people?
BRIAN: Ready
GARY: Ready
PRINCETON: Ready
TREKKIE: Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS: Fanfiction is for slash!
PRINCETON: Sorry, Kate...
TREKKIE AND GUYS: Fanfiction is for slash!
PRINCETON: I masturbate!
TREKKIE: All these guys increase their size while reading slash!
KATE: Fanfiction is not for slash!!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: SLASH, SLASH...

KATE: HOLD ON A SECOND! Now I happen to know for a fact that you, Rob, often check for reviews on Potions and Snitches
ROB: That's correct
KATE: And Brian, you read about the Elder Scrolls series
BRIAN: Sure!
KATE: And Gary, you keep writing about Death Note and the Fallout series
GARY: Yes I do!
KATE: And Princeton, you sent me that sweet Homestuck gift fic
PRINCETON: True
TREKKIE: Oh, but Kate... what you think he do after? Hmm?
PRINCETON: Yeah...
KATE: EEEWWWWW!!!

TREKKIE AND GUYS: Fanfiction is for slash!
KATE: GROSS!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: Fanfiction is for slash!
KATE: I HATE SLASH!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: So grab your pens and have a bash at writing slash!
KATE: I HATE GAYS!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: Slash, slash, slash, slash
KATE: I'M LEAVING!
TREKKIE AND GUYS: Slash, slash, slah, slash
KATE: I HATE FANFICTION!
TREKKIE: Fanfiction is for...
TREKKIE AND SOME: Fanfiction is for...
TREKKIE AND ALL: Fanfiction is for SLASH!
TREKKIE: YEAH!