Help me
Can't fit
Your stuff
Inside
These bags, see
Can't take it all, don't need the lot, surely
Hey

You lucky bastard, got us free tickets to Rio (Rio)
Why such a rush to pack? We've still got a week to go (to go)
You've got a lot of stuff, I would be fine with that, though (that, though)
This pile of crap's ridiculous, no way you'll see me
Pack that, extra surfboa-oard
Pack that, two's fine, I'm su-ure
Pack that, don't need ten mo-ore
Pack that, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Pack that, you're method's fla-awed
Pack that, don't need to sto-ore
Pack that, your Wii, I'm su-ure
Pack that, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Hear me, pal, I'm callin' bullshit now
When you're on holiday, you're meant to go out
Build sandcastles then knock them down
No need to bring your hat collection now
Do you plan to drag them round
Show 'em off to people in town?
Didn't think so, put the sombrero down
They won't fit in the hotel room anyhow, no how

Don't need your DVD's, there's lots of things to see, bro (see, bro)
I'll admit that a list of them's a thing I don't know (don't know)
But what I do know is your crap won't fit in cargo (cargo)
Two bag limit, don't go over, no, I won't let you
Pack that large stash of go-old
Pack that cup filled with mo-old
Pack that strip-dancin' po-ole
Pack that, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Pack that bag of bear cla-aws
Pack that hammer and sa-aw
Pack that, you'll live, I'm su-ure
Pack that, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

Oh, your crap'll fill the whole hanger
I'm doubtin' that you'll need to lug that crap on
Your StairMaster? Dream on, crew gon' flip
If they see your shit, here's a big ol' tip:
If you need two or three people or more
To take each thing into the plane's hold
It's not a holiday item, you dork
You can leave your gloves and uggs in their drawers
Checked the forecast, it will be hot
What, "just in case"? That's what inside's for!
You're like "I'm no fan of hotels, mate
Just want it to feel like my place"
With the laptop and one plush, I'm more than okay
But eight friggin' consoles, that's dumb, mate
Don't worry 'bout your plants, asked a pal to stay
In fact he's the six-foot dude in the doorway
Right, Bob?

That's right, I called ahead and got us a chaperone (chaperone)
Verbal convincin' hasn't worked on you yet, I know (I kno-ow)
So maybe Bob will help you make the right choices, bro (right choice, bro)
With his large frame loomin' over (ooh yeah), think twice before you
Pack that ironin' boa-oard
Pack that bowlin' awa-ard
Pack that replica swo-ord (oh-oh)
Pack that oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
Pack that collector's fo-ork
Pack that box full of o-orcs (yeah-eah)
Pack that weird old stuffed sto-ork
Pack that oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I hear you moanin' cause you're still wantin'
To bring all your trophies for bowlin'
No longer moanin', now you're just throwin'
Tantrums, I'm goin' "For Batman's sake, please (please)
We're goin' overseas (seas)
How hard's it to see (see)
That you can't take all your things? Work with me-e (me)"

I see the wheel in (yeah-eah) your brain goin' from stop to go (stop to go)
This is a holiday, we're not movin' to Rio (Rio)
You can leave things behind, Bob will take care of them, bro (he's nice, bro)
So while you're mullin' that over (ooh yeah), come here and help me
Pack that sunscreen and sho-orts
Pack that extension co-ord
For that cam'ra, of cou-ourse
Pack that oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (oh)
Pack that large model boa-oar
Pack that, you ask "what fo-or"
Pack that, my bus'ness, do-ork
Pack that oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh)