Ain't it fantastic,
To be a Catholic,
You feel so symbolic,
When you're a Catholic.

Catholicism is a really nice religion,
With events like Confirmation instead of circumcision.
But if you're Catholic and think you're not special,
Or you don't belong,
Then listen to this list of famous people who are Catholic,
Mentioned in this song!

Robert DeNiro, knows what Catholicism's about,
So does Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and Gwen Stefani from No Doubt.
During Communion guess who eats the bread and drinks the wine,
None other than Tommy Hilfiger and Kevin Kline.

Regis Philbin's Catholic,
And that's my final answer.
And Brendan Fraser's a great Catholic,
But recently not a great actor.

We've got Peter Criss from KISS,
The Gallagher brothers from Oasis,
The guy who created "Schindler's List",
And Haley Joel Osment,
ALL CATHOLIC!

So if things get chaotic,
Just remember you're a Catholic,
Along with John Cusack and Salma Hayek-olic,
And Lucy Lawless-olic.

Osama Bin Laden,
Not a Catholic,
But Kathie Lee Gifford is,
Except she's so damn dramatic!

Eddie Van Halen is along with brother Alex,
And we also have "7th Heaven" star Catherine Hicks.
Also Alfred Hitchcock and Kid Rock but not Ringo Starr,
However the other Beatles--John, Paul, & George are.

You don't need to spin dreidels or wear a yarmulke,
Instead you could have Communion with Madonna!

So tell you're friend Patrick,
He's cool cause he's Catholic,
Drink up your gin and tonic,
Just don't be an alcoholic,
From The Pacific to Atlant-olic,
EVEN DOWN IN THE ANTARCTIC!
People scream and shout-olic,
Because it's really, really, really, really, really, really,
COOL TO BE A CATHOLIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Amen Everybody! Goodnight!