Yeah, maybe asked for that, you huge prick (huge prick)

Look, buddy, all I gave was a lil spit
A lil spit, you're pissed, a lil spit, you're mad
Never thinkin' it's because you're a piece of shit
Not one of your thoughts, that's the point that I have
So let's turn back, yeah, rewind back
To the start of the meal right now
Time to recap all of your utter crap
Don't care if you don't care, sit down

Walked in our restaurant like a total prick
"Don't you know who I am?!" Yeah, all that shit
You went off that there was a wait, you old fool
You had no reservation and I won't move
Anybody just 'cause you screwed up, it's true
Then you asked for things not on the menu
What we make is what we got, how it works, prick
On you to look up who makes what shit
Ordered med-rare beef then argued that it was raw
Gave you medium, said it's now well-done, wrong
Tried to haggle ev'ry price, screamed the "f" word so
Your dessert had somethin' extra all because you blow

All an asshole really needs is a lil spit
Not a lot, friggin' jerk, just a lil spit
Love to add to the dip here a lil spit
Watchin' how much you get pissed from a lil spit
I understand that you're real mad 'bout a lil spit
Goin' way beyond a frown from a lil spit
It's a little disgustin', a lil spit
Too bad, deal with it, just a lil spit

You can miss me with that "I'll have your job!" load
'Cause I'm not so stupid that I'd go
And give a big blow to my job, you dope
That's why I know the top C.E.O
Not in a nepotistic flow
The guy on top is just a bro
It's policy that we can go
And do this as long as we don't
Pass on a glob with a cough or some other strain
Plus the impetus must be on time, mate
If it's sev'ral weeks out, that's castin' doubts
On if they're a prat, I'd get shouted out
Just one time I can hack up a glob, man
Abuse must be severe, yours was so that
And I gotta be honest: to be totally clear
You're the first to ever notice, a new one 'round here

All an asshole really needs is a lil spit
Not a lot, friggin' jerk, just a lil spit
Though I wish I could tip more than "lil spit"
Fill a dumpster to the brim with my "lil spits"
Not really supposed to just blab 'bout the lil spit
Clause in my contract, no sounds 'bout the lil spit
Just for lawyer discussions, that lil spit
Joke on those livid, all that lil spit

Buddy, just let go of my tie, that hurts me
You're really not buildin' up your side, just hurts thee
Just been kiddin', a total utter lie, you heard me
Just want you here to face the cops, ha-ha

All an asshole really needs is a lil spit
Not a lot, friggin' jerk, just a lil spit
But I didn't just give you a lil spit
I can daydream that I did give a lil spit
My coworker's always on cams, catches lil spits
Makes the hammer fall right down, zero lil spits
I'm just pullin' your leg 'bout my lil spit
Only real dipshits give that lil spit
All an asshole really needs is a lil spit
Not a lot, friggin' jerk, just a lil spit
But I never would give you a lil spit
Might deserve it just a bit, still no lil spit
My colleague had passed me a pad 'bout the lil spit
Got a little scam here now, was your lil spit
Hence my rambles and stallin', your lil spit
Got you deep in it, deep in shit from spit